


Building Pressure

by Genderhawk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood, Cutting, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, One-Shot, Pain, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-27
Updated: 2012-11-27
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:04:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genderhawk/pseuds/Genderhawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's life has spiraled out of control, he finds a way to relieve his pressure.  Ginny has to stop him before he self destructs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Building Pressure

**Chapter One**  
  
   
  
He sat alone in the dormitory resting his tear-reddened face on the cool stone of Gryffindor Tower, the curtains were pulled tightly around his bed and he had cast mufflato so nobody could hear his screams.  He looked down at his bare chest and watched a bead of blood descend slowly down his chest until it hit the clean white sheets that covered his lap.  Harry smiled a slightly deranged smile as tears began to fall again, landing on the blood spatters.  After Harry cleaned his sheets and bandaged himself, cleaning the cuts with firewhiskey, he went back to the common room and rejoined conversation with Hermione, Ron and Ginny.  
  
Although Harry smiled and laughed with his friends, his smile never touched the anger and mania in his eyes.  He saw Ginny watching him even as she conversed with others and he knew he would have to be more careful with his carvings from then on.  
  
He kept his blade under his bead for three weeks until he couldn’t handle the pressure building up within him any longer,  he cast his spells and cleaned his skin planning to cut his abdomen this time so his chest could heal for a while longer.  As he made the first slow slice into his skin he heard a woman scream his name, he dropped the knife as tears ran down his face and Ginny opened his curtains.  “Harry don’t…” she whispered her own eyes filling with tears as she saw the scars and scabs that criss-crossed his chest, she reached out with trembling fingers to gently touch his chest before she snapped out of it and hauled him out of bed “We have to go to the hospital wing, now.”  She said this with the utmost authority and Harry could do nothing but allow himself to be dragged to Madame Pomfrey.  
  
When Ginny and Harry reached the Hospital Wing  Madame Pomfrey gave Harry one look and turned around to get some potions and bandages “Sit him down on an empty bed dear…” she said as she turned back around to tend to Harry’s wounds.  Harry soon passed out and when he awoke his chest was healed and Ginny was asleep by his hospital bed and his chest was healed.  He barely remembered how he got there or what had happened.  
  
He watched Ginny for a few minutes before she sensed him and woke up, she smiled sleepily at him “Are you feeling better?” she asked.  Harry nodded, his throat dry.  Ginny got him some water, the two of them sat in silence for a while until Ginny figured out how to ask what was on her mind “Harry… Why?”  Harry sighed and looked away from Ginny for a few moments before he spoke.  “Ginny… Do you know what it’s like to have everyone counting on you? To have everyone losing their lives so you can do something you don’t think you can do?  It’s just I have all this pressure from everyone, and it builds up inside.  Cutting lets it out, for a while…”  Harry gave that explanation in a tremulous, halting voice, pausing every so often to regain composure.  After a few minutes of silence Ginny spoke again, this time a little braver “But when did it start?” at this question Harry smiled sadly before answering “Last year, when I learned that ‘I must not tell lies’ Those detentions gave me such relief…” At this Harry drifted off into silence and then sleep.  
  


 **Chapter Two**  
  
   
  
When morning came Harry was discharged from the Hospital Wing with instructions from Madame Pomfrey to eat well and take it easy.  He and Ginny went down to the Great Hall together, raising giggles from those they passed on the way down, and they dined together.  
  
Although they were his best friends Ron and Hermione were too busy with another of their fights, this time over the Slug Club, to notice Harry’s problems or the fact that Harry and Ginny were growing closer and closer.  In the months that followed Harry continued his lessons with Dumbledore and after a while the pressure began to build again.  
  
Harry and Ginny spent hours and hours talking about anything and everything and Harry kept his issue under control.  When Harry found out about the Horcruxes, he realized how much he had left to do before he could kill Voldemort he could not contain the pressure within his mind and body.  
  
  
 **Chapter Three**  
  
   
  
Ginny waited for Harry to come down from his dormitory, he had gone up to get his broom before Quidditch practice and had been up there quite a while.  She waited a little longer until she began to get nervous, she ran up the stairs and found the scene of her nightmares.  Harry lay on the blood slicked floor, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling as he struggled for breath.  Ginny screamed for help, afraid to leave Harry alone, and soon help came.  
  
When Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall ran into Harry’s dormitory they saw Ginny clutching Harry’s nearly lifeless body and set about healing every last one of his cuts. Ginny sat next to them as they worked, too shocked to cry as they tried to save the life of the boy, the man, she loved.  
  
When Harry had recovered he accompanied Dumbledore to the seaside cave, and realized that although he loved Ginny he could not let her see his pain again.  He had to leave and fulfill his obligation to the world before he could pursue his own happiness.  
  
After Dumbledore’s funeral Harry explained this to Ginny, and he promised to return to her alive and well.  
  
 And he did.


End file.
